Retentivenesses

Remembering those days, might be there on before for many days, where the life of to day seems to be a source of unknown entity where there is a search for happiness but there are uncountable tears all overs. Every where seems to be there are vague thoughts, which bring out tears into the eyes and feeling of a virtual entity where unknown times seem to be in correspondence with you and each other for numerous times. Search for happiness leads to nowhere. Thought of yours brings about on everything and it seems to be there everywhere except you of course, but there is no saddened present thought thoughts are always been there as always.

For a small happiness there are many tears still search for happiness continues unabated. At every point of times, when it is asked towards the heart of the source of happiness but always been answer is on negativity, as heart could not find the source of happinesses during all these search for happiness. When asked to heart about finding about searching for happiness but still I could not find the happinesses. How could heart find happiness. As it is still in it’s thought infancy and there is no sickness to it, but still finding of happinesses all over everywhere makes life the most difficult for me.

Of late there has been the search for happiness continues unabeted, as there are at times, heart goes to see everything on its way, and at some point of times, there has been the plundered findings of death but still not known what should be life in future but when asked about heart to find about the source of happiness, but still the search for it continues uninterrupted. There has been many roads and paths, but still one has to decide about which is the road to happiness, but to my utter suprise the roads moves along and I stayed at back and that creates the most difficult part of walking into the life for me but still the heart could not understand the real meaning attached with life.

There has been the light at the end of tunnel as the entire route leads to it seems to be one of utter disdain with darkness everywhere and at the end of tunnel it seems the smile and light is there but is it for me as I could not understand but still looking at life as it is continues. If at all the path that ends towards it goes into vain after reaching there and that could be the most difficult time as there is no point of no return. The smile across there seems to be showing signs of smiles which seems to be towards me but how is that the continuous movement of darkness there which seems to be providing the most difficult part of thinking as it is.

is it death waiting and smiling at me at the end of the tunnel or is it the single most amazing happenings that is happening around there? A puzzled movements as one thought process of mind continues to tell me let it be and go into the flow of life and another thought process continues to tell me to think and move beyond as there is no guarantee that the same smile is waiting for you at the end of darkness, despair, distress. Smile has gone away for many months but still the sound and visualisations of sounds continue to be there with me through and continues to leave this behind and move ahead but still everything possible making me the most difficult situation to stand out from the rest of the environment.

It seems to that smile has gone away but still there is something left with me and the smile always gives me the perfect flashback towards leaving life more to it. Tears rolled out of my eyes but it shows me that you are always with me with the flow of tears from my eyes. What is happening as everything is moving in some other directions gives me the most difficult part of life to live on. Life continues because with every tear comes from your thought processes and with every tears presence of yours felt and it seems you are alive once again. That provides the strength to live again and live for some more moments. Why this is happenings with me and why the search for the same smile continues to be there as it is for many days.

Tell me the smile where are you and why you are giving me so much pain and decadence to life as it continues to be there as the breathing is slowly becoming more and more difficult to take as it becomes difficult for me to live on and it has become my habits for many more days and tell me where are you and please show me the smile and source of happinesses. Now, everything has become one of the most difficult parts of life to survive. Still, you are with me but no one could able to find you at any point of time, and you are with me at every thing from dawn to dusk and you are heart beating of my heart and still you are not showing yours presence at any point of time and all these makes me the most difficult part to search for source of happiness at each and every point of time.

The memoirs of yours are thorns to every body still all these pains provides me excellent satisfaction to live on beyond certain period of time, but now there is no smile all across and it seems a distant dream to constitute and how could search for happiness fulfilled without you. What should I do? I live it one continuosly with yours smile and memory unabated wit out heeding about surroundings but slowly as time moves on when I see the roads in front of mine, I find nothing but the signs of cipher and with it everything seems to be moving towards the stage of anonymity. When darkness creeps in amidst extreme silence still there is searching for peace from within inner corners of my hearts.

Everywhere, there are signs of happiness but still the heart search for happiness. What continues to be seen the way life move along with every possible presence of infinite entities which seems not to find the complete answer to survive, some times there is happiness and some times there has been sadness but the real signs of happiness continues to provide the signs of absence everywhere. I do hope for one day that would come at any point of time where, I could find, the end of road of mine where all such sadistic pleasures would come to a halt and that would create a situation where the smile of yours would be there in front of mine and the time would freeze during that point of time.

I know, you would not be here in this mortal world as you have crossed all such limits and infatuation of life but still why your presence in these mortal world. During every time here, I could find about you and whenever I thought about your memories of all such comes to light and seems to provide me every other opportunities that you are there at every time and you are here. That puzzled me at every time and during every other second it seems heart smiles and the brain does take it to another level to continue to wait for your presence but for everything there are limits and time is not constant. It seems times are ending with real speed and in the end everything seems to be at the cross roads.

I would hope for freezing of time and do hope that every other second should stay so that every other sign and symbols of your staying in this mortal world should reach a logical conclusion. Yours memories are always there and feeling alone always which augments from time to time and it slowly move towards the stages of complete endless search. Why such moments come and why such particular moments go and why such memories are there which moves us beyond limits to stop but time cannot be stopped. It shows that there is no other road to recovery and there is no way I could find the road to a destination. All these compounded to create one of the most difficult ways to survive and live beyond any other situations but still the search for memories continues without halting at any point of time.

Memories are difficult to stop as it circulates from dream to day dreams and it continues to stay nearer to me and it continues to talk without me without others hearing this and all these thoughts continues to provide me that lifeless entity is living with the breath of memory of yours. Every other dreams continue to stay in a strange manner but still hurting memories of yours continues to be there to provide the most sadistic smiles of mine but still the life seems to be there without any consciousness’s. In the beginning, we could understand that such memories would reach towards this state. And we could not know at many points of time. Virtual blood would flow out from my eyes. Life is not there but still living with it and the mind is not there but still consciousness comes about and it comes from the mind all the time.

Life is now full of emptied entities, as you have gone away, and the road is now unknown and miles of stressful thoughts are there, and my world has been gone wasted within the shortest span of time. Now, every dream is shattered to its utmost consideration. Now, there is no monsoon at all and now every time I think about you I find the real difficult time ahead for me. Where is life and where are you come here and be it with me at all the stuffed dreams are about to be finished and now the seconds have turned into milliseconds. Every writing all these memories the black words are still moving here and there and provides me the most difficult part to write, as it seems that the prolonged part of life has already been gone out of mine thought and now the time to go forward to wards the smallest light and smile of happiness that might be there at the end of tunnel.

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About Mohan Manohar Mekap

Mohan Manohar is a blogger from India who founded Ittech back in 2007. He is passionate about all things tech and knows the Internet and computers like the back of his hand.